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Babuji kya mujhe apni zindagi se ek mahina mil sakta hai …”  Simran (Kajol) asks her father,Chaudhary Baldev Singh(Amrish Puri), in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge(DDLJ). Her father finally agrees and grants her permission “Ja Ji le apni Zindagi“(go live your life),  to enjoy one month in EuroRail before getting married and we all know when Simran met Raj(Shahrukh Khan), love was never the same again. Getting back to the dialogue. Isn’t a girl free to take her own decision, can’t she live her life on her own terms, does she have to take permission from her father, husband, son to live her life?

Women and Changing Times

Women across the globe are achieving higher levels of education, joining the workforce in greater numbers and contributing more to the household income. Women are increasing their spending power, and with that they gain more control and influence over key household decisions, even in India especially in Urban cities. But with empowerment comes stress. If independence was the byword of the previous generation of women, stress is its current counterpart. It is not surprising at all, then, that a recent report, Women of Tomorrow  by Nielsen discovered that Indian women are the most stressed in the world a whopping 87%. They attributed higher levels of stress to more opportunities, coupled with managing multiple roles. You can’t escape stress whether you are working or not and as per me the most stressed out time for a woman is the morning.
Women multi-tasking

The Morning Rush

In most houses mornings are the busiest of times, especially on a weekday. No one seems to have the time to look at the golden sun rising from the sky or even to stand and stare at the innocent face of the sleeping child. Everyone is in a hurry especially a  mother. She has to cook dabbas for her husband, children, get them ready for school and office, deal with maid. Only when the children leave for school does a mother take a breath of relief. Beautifully depicted in Song Jame Raho from Taare Zameen Par.
Morning rush

Morning Rush

A mother’s day is dictated by the clock: 7:30 clock send kids to school, 8:30  send husband to office, 9:00 o’clock go to office/market, bank, make lunch, 2 o’clock wait for children to come back, 4 o’clock make them do their homework, 6 o’clock send for class, 7 o’clock send them to play 8 o’clock dinner 9 o’clock bed time..Working women has travel and job added to her cup of work.  Marne ki  bhi phursat nahin hoti(no time to die also).

Limited Time

We all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, yielding 168 hours per week. Take out 56 hours for sleep (we do spend about a third of our week dead) and we are down to 112 hours to achieve all the results we desire. We cannot save time , it can only be spent-we can spend it wisely, or, not so wisely. Time management classes teach how to categorise the Urgent, Important, Not So Important, Useless.  To  increase the amount of time available to us each day, we need to work smarter rather than harder.

Time management Strategies

Time management Strategies

Life Saviors

For Indian mothers, maids, gadgets and products have been a big help. Maids -getting work done by them, Uff!  You can live without a husband for few days..but when maid misses one day of work(especially without telling)…you are doomed.  According to a survey conducted by Internet service provider Hotmail, 32 per cent women have voted the washing machine as the best time-saving invention ever, followed by computer, moble, dishwasher and Microwave.  Products like Surf since 1959 have helped her to have cleaner clothes with less effort.  Lalatiji helped Indian women to realize the value and quality and make smart choice “Isko khardine mein hi samajhdhari hai”(It makes sense to buy it). The journey of surf from 1959 to current is beautifully depicted here  And Surfexcel websitehas great tips to fight stains.

Surf
Even with all the help, a mother struggles to take out time for herself. Jab marne ki bhi phursat nahin hain tu kahen se ek-do ghante nikale apne liye.(when there is no time to die where does one take out  one -two hour time for oneself). But the temptation of thinking what would I do if I get those 1-2 hours was too big to resist. Just what would I do if I get those 1-2 hours? Would like Simran mein jee loon apni zindagi. Sochne mein kya jaata hai (No harm in thinking) so what if they end up like Shiekh Chilli’s dreams!( Sheikh Chilli on his way to market to sell his eggs made huge plans but all those were dashed when his eggs broke).  So here I go.

Taste of freedom

Taste of freedom

Dreaming about those 1-2 hour

What would I do? What would I do, Nothing came to my mind. It went blank It seemed that I had forgotten the things that brought me joy or activities that I once enjoyed doing. And then there were lots of options- watching television, movie, reading book, gardening,sleeping, shopping, having a relaxed cup of coffee with friends, getting pampered at the parlour, having that lo….ng talk with parents/spouse, write a blog post. Yeh to wahi ho gaya ji –Ek Anaar aur So bimar(one pomegranate and hundred sick people  which means  Same thing wanted by lot of people). Is it selfish to carve out a little ‘me time’ ? I mean there were lots of work to do in the house, clean the toy shelf of kids, file the papers, update the financial records, get the dress for my son’s school function..I had to remind myself that its about I, Me, Myself.

How to decide? My friend, Kavita, (A big movie buff) asked me to use the trick of finding out whom do you really love?(Close your eyes and the face that comes to your mind when you think of love-  1990’s movie Lamhe-starring Anil Kapoor and Sridevi). I closed my eyes, telling her that I will doze off and  I saw.. I saw a class, class full of women and I teaching them! I got up startled, rubbing off the beads of sweat that had come on my forehead. Tried to dodge Kavita’s questions of what startled me and finally I told her. Unlike me she was super excited (she is always excited ,making plans, pushing us to do small things like a potluck with or without family, going for movies, spreading laughter and happiness). “That’s excellent idea”, she remarked. “What’s excellent about it and what would I teach”, I asked. “Money”, she replied. “Money?”, I looked confused.

“You write about money and the other day you were telling Uma about how she should take interest in the financial matters, be aware of her financial position, just not leave it to her husband. This is important not for herself but also for her children. You used a nice quote too” Kavita said. “Do you mean- If you teach a child. you teach a child. If you teach a father, he uses his new knowledge to gain a livelihood outside the home. But, if you teach a mother, you teach a family.” I asked. “Yup that’s the one”, Kavita said,  “Yes we also talked about Women (usually) never learns about Banking, insurance, investments (they might be in good job, earning high). Sadly when things go wrong (eg  emergency such as husband hospitalized or  they loose their husband , divorce) along with emotional pains come bigger pains in life i.e taking care of finances. Then she has no idea on how to invest money for child education, her retirement. She has to rely on others(relatives, friends) and what if she is misguided?.

“Yes, women has lot of apprehensions about learning about money”, I said, “Such as”

  • Some else will manage money for me , but are you sure they are managing it well?
  • I don’t know enough to do myself : but we learn things only when we come across them: ex: cooking. We started cooking daily, trying new dishes only when we got married.
  • I will make too many mistakes: Everybody does!! We make mistakes and learn from them. Computers can never become more intelligent than humans because computers don’t make mistakes

We talked about how women are not afraid of Maths as is made out. And women like Chandra Kochar(ICICI Bank) , Shikha Sharma(Axis Bank) are leading banks.“What more could be apt”, Kavita said laughingly, “Surf removes stains and makes our clothes brighter and you would remove the stains of financial un-awareness and make our life brighter”. “Ha Ha Ha..But where will I find time,” I asked her, “If you reach for the stars, you might not quite get one, but you won’t end up with a handful of mud, either”, replied Kavita. “We will..what about the next tea potluck and you could talk about how learning about finances is like cooking food and all of us get that taste of freedom?”

Note: This post is for Indiblogger Surf excel matic contest:If you two hours in a day how would you spend it.

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