“After fifteen or twenty years do I spend time saying I love you to you or work to support the family?”his words kept on echoing in her mind

2 days earlier

“I am going to miss you guys, take care”, he said as he got into the car. Kids wished him safe journey and went back to watching TV program. She nodded, and turned away , trying not to think of his leaving. She should have been used to his leaving by then but she wasn’t. She felt lonely again but tried not to show. She wanted to spend a quiet evening with him maybe sitting in the moonlight in the terrace. But he had to go, some crisis at their customer place. Their life seemed to belong to everyone but them. Sometimes she felt as there are obstacles and hurdles standing between them. It was as though they had to finish a marathon every day before they could share a private moment.. Take me…..drop me..pick me..give…can I …would you..where is my…where…how..when..she looked up at the sky then, saw stars, as she wondered how life they have come so far.. how this could have happened to them.

3 days earlier…

“You can’t expect to feel at thirty-five or forty the way you did at twenty.” he said

“No, but you can feel other things. If you’re lucky, maybe even more than you felt in the beginning.” she replied

“That’s a lot of romantic nonsense,” he said firmly.“I don’t think anyone is in love anymore by then. And no one with any sense expects to be either.What do you think one should expect? Hearts and flowers and valentines?

“What can you expect?” she asked in a strangled voice, as she looked at her husband.

“Companionship, decency, respect, someone to take care of the kids. Someone you can rely on. That’s about all anyone should expect from marriage.”

“You can get a maid, or a dog, to provide the same things for you. Is that all our marriage means to you?

“We have something that’s worked damn well for sixteen years. What’s this talk of being in love after so many years. Grow up, There is house,kids education, bills to be paid.” She looked at him.

“ I had no idea you didn’t. I expect you to be in love with me till the day you die, or there’s no point in our marriage. Just as I’m in love with you, and always have been.” she said as she walked into the kitchen. The table had to be set, dinner had to be served to kids.

17 years ago…

We spoke and spoke until the wee hours of the morning and thought of seeing him again in the next few hours brought a smile to her face. There was a flutter of butterflies in my stomach, the sun shone brighter, the world looked so much more beautiful and I couldn’t hold that grin back  She thought and he agreed, Time stood still when it was just the two of us.  Maybe Prince Charming does exist, who sweep you of the feet! It’s great to be young and in love! Money h..m well you needed it to pay mobile bills and buy gifts and go on dates.

15 years ago…

We got back from a romantic whisk-away weekend to Shimla. technically, Well, it wasn’t very whisk-away, since we had to plan it for two months in advance because our lives and schedules were insanely busy. And you can’t really call it a weekend since he got called for work and we were only able to spend one night And maybe romantic is a stretch too since we ate a candle-less Maggi on paper plates. But it was still fun.

The first few years of marriage were exhilarating as we experienced our new firsts together. First Diwali, First Valentine, First holiday, even the first tax return and first fight (okay many fights) but it was nice to be together, basking in the newlywed glow coupled with unbridled optimism about a new life together. Money was something to be earned and spent and yes if left to save tax.

12 years ago…

There’s tired. There’s shattered. And there’s being a mother. I couldn’t remember what a good night’s sleep felt like. Our little bundle of joy had arrived but it also brought stress, being away from home and not knowing what to how to handle the baby stressed out both of us. We were overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a child, in addition to the loss of privacy and freedom. Parenting, we realized, is hard work. marriage and personal needs were pushed into the background.

While rearing our united us, those first step, the first word, first it also marked changes in our the marriage. There was more to argue about from kids, why give allopathic medicine, why not homoeopathic, which school to send, to money how much to spend on toys, clothes, Should I take a half day job.

And the pressure to reach those milestones set by family, friends, peer – a new car, buy a new house.

The second kid gave us less time for conversation and intimacy. We both got busy juggling job, house, kids. There was so much to do and so many bills to pay, yes we needed to save for our kid’s education, marriage and our retirement.

Present

A bell rang. Who is it? she thought. Kids were at the birthday party and will not be back for another two hours, she was thinking as she opened the door. He was standing there with roses in hand. “I am back..” he said. “But your work..and these roses.”, she asked, “I debugged the problem and delegated it”

Here I am to say Sorry to you. We got lulled into cosy serenity that comes with the security of mutual love. But I realized I was wrong, thanks for making me realize. I love you. I love cuddling with you as we watch TV together. I love you because you listen to me as I share the small triumphs or struggles of the day. I love you because, in moments of friction between us, you hear me out. Even when you don’t agree with me, you listen with a longing to understand me. I love you because you respect me. Every time we are together, I have the most wonderful time. You are amazing and I am so proud that you are mine. You have filled my heart with unending joy and happiness. You make me feel loved and you make me feel safe, but more importantly, you make me feel wanted. I love you with all that I am and I love you for who you are. No words will ever express the love I feel for you, yet I will keep on trying until I have used all the words there are” and with this, he slipped a platinum ring on to her finger.

She had tears in her eyes, “For you and our relationship I got this platinum ring to celebrate our years of togetherness, to remind you and me that just like to get one ounce of platinum requires processing of many many tonnes of ore. So one needs to work hard first to find and then to keep it glowing”.

She smiled at him in a way that told him all he needed to know. And she knew he had come home to her as he pulled her and kissed her. That moment was my platinum day of love…yes there are miles to go but “tera haath haath mein hain agar to safar hi asli hayaat hai..mere har kadam pein hai manzileen tera saath gar mere saath hai”

Note: This article is for Indiblogger contest Platinum Day of Love. Know more about Platinum at Platinum Day of Love

Does love take a back seat in the marriage after 10-15 years of married life? Does money affect marital bliss? How should one prevent marriage from becoming boring?